Anytime
by Michiru Kashyuuno
Summary: *Song Fic* A man reflects on the mistake he made that changed his life for the worse.


**~ Anytime ~**

  


**By: Michiru Kashyuuno**

  


  


  


The door closed carelessly with a swift nudge of the owner's shoulder. The hallway was empty, pitch-black before he flipped the switch. It only revealed what was still an empty foyer, just merely lit up by incandescent light. Light footsteps were muted by the carpeting, but the sharp noises of his keys falling upon the wooden side table echoed. His fingers drifted along the smooth varnished wood before treading further into the bleak apartment. 

Uncommon amber eyes regarded the plain furniture hesitantly as he paused. He discarded his jacket on the black couch just before loosening his own tie to relieve himself of the feeling of work. It was long, tedious, but the appreciated distraction from his life. Kenshin Himura knew he would only come home to no one. She was gone.

  


  


_**Can't remember why we fell apart**_

_**From something that was so meant to be, yeah**_

_**Forever was the promise in our hearts**_

_**Now, more and more I wonder where you are**_

  


He didn't know how to react, how to hold onto her when she was gone. He only knew how to let go. She left without a word, without a tear, and most of all–without warning. His friends told him time and again that she was fickle, she was young, she would pass. They were idle words in his head as he saw her slip through his fingers, yet clung onto the security he thought he had with her. His friends were wrong. She hadn't left him because of her gender's tendency to being capricious. She had warned him for so long that he was neglecting her. His words meant nothing if he treated her like she was insignificant. She wanted him to marry her, she wanted his time. As they became serious, he became more involved in work. Their arguments became more frequent, having more difference in opinions. They apologized and resumed life. This became a part of their daily schedules, fighting and apologizing.

  


  


_**Do I ever cross your mind, anytime**_

_**Do you ever wake up reaching out for me**_

_**Do I ever cross your mind anytime**_

_**I miss you**_

  


  


With a sigh, he plopped down into his favorite chair by the big window. The rain drizzled outside, the moon blocked out by the dark, gray clouds. He had dimmed the lights before retiring in the current spot. He had a tendency to not go to his bed at night. He could no longer sleep laying down anymore. She had ruined his life and made him cherish every minute he had with her before. He yearned for her warmth once again. She was his medium. Where had she gone?

His eyes trailed over to the picture frame on the coffee table across the room. Her picture erect for his eyes to see. Her cerulean eyes were full of gaiety, surrounded by his embrace, his auburn hair and her ebony hair mixed together in a sea of diverse tresses. Then, she was his. But now her clothes were gone. Her scent just a memory haunting his everyday existence. Where had she gone? His head fell into his hands, rubbing his skin in self-loathing.

  


_**Still have your picture in a frame**_

_**Hear your footsteps down the hall**_

_**I swear I hear your voice, driving me insane**_

_**How I wish that you would call**_

_**To say**_

  


Her memories haunted him, a ghost of his past as he lay in the darkness of despair. He'd remember in these silent moments where he'd sit in his favorite chair, she'd come up behind him. He could hear her muffled giggles and her soft steps as a knowing smile found its way to his face. Her hands would cover his eyes, inquiring if he knew who she was, and he would always reply some farfetched or mischievous answer. She'd laugh at his foolishness in this melodic way and let them fall from their hold as she'd reveal herself from behind. It was their game on nights like this, and she would no longer come to unveil herself for him.

For a moment, he thought he heard her and flinched, almost ready to receive her presence. But it was only the neighbors next door seeing they found this type of night romantic as he used to. Another memory seeped into the throws of his thoughts. Her dainty fingers trailed the wall of the foyer as she walked along. He watched her from the couch, seeing her as bored as he. She'd ask spur of the moment queries just to keep him awake with her, her élan keeping him entranced. 

  


  


_**Do I ever cross your mind, anytime**_

_**Do you ever wake up reaching out for me**_

_**Do I ever cross your mind anytime**_

_**I miss you**_

  


The walls were a deep scarlet-the color of betrayal-as if they knew of the torture he would endure. How he had forgotten all the intimate embraces they shared as the walls surrounded him, foreshadowing the inevitable of a perfect bliss. He'd murmur her name as they held each other, her fingers brushing against his cheek before a kiss. 

  


_**I miss you**_

_**I miss you**_

_**(Oh, no more) loneliness and heartache**_

_**(No more) crying myself to sleep**_

_**(Oh no more) wondering about tomorrow**_

_**Won't you come back to me**_

_**Come back to me, oh**_

  


He wished that she was horrible without him. He imagined her waking up in the middle of the night, the moonlight accentuating every drop of sweat from her life-imitating dream, the sheets rumpled from her tossing and turning. Then she'd call for him to comfort her, but he wouldn't be there. He'd be in his own apartment wishing she were at his side, too, even though he wouldn't openly admit it. In her own realization, she'd pick up the phone and dial his number that she had memorized, hoping he'd pick up to console her anxiety. But the call never came. It was all hopes and dreams. She wouldn't want to go back to him. 

  


_**Do I ever cross your mind, anytime**_

_**Do you ever wake up reaching out for me**_

_**Do I ever cross your mind anytime**_

_**I miss you**_

  


He remembered that day he left for work. She lay on the bed, the sheets covering her safely, the sunlight bathing her in its warmth. He tightened his tie and gazed at her from the bathroom. Her eyes fluttered open, drowsiness noticeable from his distance. He pushed off lightly from the door frame and sat beside her, taking her hand in his. 

"Kenshin, it's early..." she murmured with a smile.

"I have to go to work early. My boss called me in." he informed her reluctantly.

"Tell him you just proposed to me yesterday and that we're spending today together."

"It's not that easy."

She sighed and turned over, pulling away from his grip.

"You're co-workers do it all the time and you've never even taken a sick day. I don't see how-."

"I keep my personal and work life separate."

There was a pregnant pause as she closed her eyes. He had not caught that single, almost invisible tear escape her eye as she muttered the last words she ever said to him.

"Goodbye."

That night, he found her belongings gone and his engagement ring on his pillow.

  


_**Do I ever cross your mind, anytime**_

_**Do you ever wake up reaching out for me**_

_**Do I ever cross your mind anytime**_

_**I miss you**_

  


Everyone said they were perfect together, except for those who disapproved from the start, the bitter divorcees of his friends. He never let them know how bad he hurt, and he still wouldn't let them even see a hint of it. Maybe he didn't care about her enough. Maybe that's why she left. Or maybe they weren't perfect together. Maybe it was a mistake. A smile crept onto his face, but it wasn't one of joy. It was something else. It was an insane look, and he laughed in a crazy denial. He had lost her. And tears of pain streamed down his face.

  


_**I miss you**_

_**I miss you**_

**_I miss you_**

  


  


**Author's Note**: I hate putting Kenshin in these situations, but I just saw him as the song played. For some reason, I saw him. Don't ask me why. Anyway, I had already done a piece on Kaoru. So I decided to do one on Kenshin.


End file.
